She Knows
by Kate Beckett's Golden Snitch
Summary: The only thing that she knows, the only thing that really matters anymore to her, is the fact that as much as she likes Lucas, she likes Riley more. (Rilaya Oneshot)
Every morning, when she wakes, the only thing that she can think of is climbing through the bay window.

She rushes past her mother, plants a quick kiss on the top of her head, and is out the door with her backpack dangling from a shoulder strap before her mother can even form a 'good morning'.

She climbs up the fire escape and crawls through the window, to a sleepy morning Riley who's lips form a lazy smile when she sets her eyes on her.

Hand in hand, they walk to the breakfast table, and sit beside each other to start the day.

It's the only way Maya ever wants the day to begin.

:-:-:-:

On the first day of school, Riley pulls her to the front of the classroom and plunks herself down in the most front and centre seat possible.

She's never been one to sit at the front of the class. Her preference is to be discreet, to sit on the far edge, middle row, where no one ever really paid attention to you.

But Riley's got this big excited smile plastered across her cute little face, so Maya pulls out the chair from the desk beside her and sits, eyebrow raised.

She can already tell this is going to be an interesting few years.

:-:-:-:

When Lucas Friar enters the scene, Maya can physically feel the love eyes that her best friend is emanating.

She is so infatuated with a boy that she's only met once, and Maya has to admit, she sees why.

Lucas Friar is not a sore spot on the eyes.

And when he moves to sit directly behind her, Riley looks directly at her and oh-so-subtly delivers a look of pure elation that it makes her snort.

Happy Riley is her favourite Riley.

:-:-:-:

She's struggling with her grades, specifically math, and it's beginning to stress her out more than anything has before.

One day, it gets the best of her, and she snaps at Farkle as he goes off on one of his spiels about physics or calculus or whatever he was exceeding the expectations of at the moment.

Afterwards, Riley follows her into the girl's restroom and asks her if she's okay, and suddenly every single stressor in her life comes flying out of her mouth.

And Riley listens and holds her hand and wipes her tears away with a damp paper towel, and when she's done, she pulls her into a tight hug and murmurs that she never needs to keep things inside and that she can always be honest with her.

And in that moment, Maya knows.

:-:-:-:

When she finds out Riley's being bullied, it's like a physical punch to the gut.

She doesn't understand.

Why was Farkle the one to tell her? Why wouldn't Riley just let her know what was going on?

Why didn't she see what was going on sooner?

The weight of that guilt makes it so, so much worse.

She should've been there for her. She should've known and been by her side for the few weeks that this was going on.

It hurts her more than words can describe.

:-:-:-:

She hates this triangle.

Sure, she may have feelings for Lucas, and sure, so does Riley.

But she hates the competition, the constant feeling of not being sure where they stand.

They try to make it so that nothing changes, but there's no denying that their feelings are different than before.

Hell, she doesn't even know what her feelings are, really.

The only thing that she knows, the only thing that really matters anymore to her, is the fact that as much as she likes Lucas, she likes Riley more.

:-:-:-:

She's at the Matthews' for dinner, and Auggie makes a side remark about how it was always going to end up with them, with Riley and Maya ruling the world side by side.

She smiles while Riley giggles, and holds back the urge to reach out and take Riley's hand in hers.

:-:-:-:

She's finally beginning to figure herself out, and it's just making everything more confusing then before.

She becomes self-conscious of her every action, and suddenly she's projecting less and less of who she truly is to her friends.

She doesn't want anything to change.

:-:-:-:

Lucas picks her.

It's been long, and drawn out, and all three of them are at the end of their ropes, and he picks her over Riley.

She should be happy. Happy that this long, awkward battle is behind them. Happy that she has him.

Because she did want him.

Didn't she?

:-:-:-:

They're growing apart, and it's killing her.

:-:-:-:

There's an accident.

Her mother wakes her in the middle of the night, as pale as a ghost, and they're on the way to the hospital in ten minutes.

She sits with Topanga and Auggie, hands shaking despite her efforts to hold them steady against her thighs.

Her only thoughts are of Riley.

In the early morning, they're finally given an update, and she can finally breathe again.

Cory and Riley are going to be fine.

And when they're allowed to go back and see them, she sees Riley, with an IV and wrapped ribs and a cast on her foot, and she starts to cry. Riley ends up being the one comforting her.

It's the night when she realized that she couldn't live without her.

:-:-:-:

It's at the bay window, the one she still crawls through every morning that she can, that she finally tells the truth.

And like before, Riley sits and listens and holds her hand and wipes her tears away with her fingers.

And she cries too.

:-:-:-:

She, Maya Penelope Hart, is in love with her best friend.

And for the first time, she's not afraid to admit it.

:-:-:-:

AN: Guys, I'm completely obsessed with Girl Meets World right now, and especially Rilaya and the potential for it next season (Girl Meets True Maya, anyone?)

Reviews would be much appreciated!

xoxo

J


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